I have one that makes me giggle and shudder on restless nights in bed. It happened on a camping trip. It might have something to do with burying the evidence. After holding it in for a couple of years, I have a huge desire to get it out of my system. Only 4 other people on this planet know about it. I might share it....but only for a bribe. I'm not that easy. It will come at a cost. One of those I'll tell if you tell type of bribes.
I will share my most embarrassing, horrifying story if I get 12 people to share an embarrassing moment. Leave your story in a comment. I cannot wait to read them!
Hearing my story isn't a good enough incentive to share yours you say? How about a gift? Best story teller gets a gift from yours truly. Help me share my story by sharing yours!
20 comments:
Fantastic post, I really look forward to updates from you.
Okay, here goes:
I used to work in an office. In my office were two desks, one for me, one for a new hire, Vanessa.
One day another employee came to discuss an accounting matter with me. He sat with his back to Vanessa while we went over the steps he should take to resolve his issue. In the midst of our conference, I began to feel uncomfortable and more than a bit pressured. No, not by him, by my large intestine. Discretely, I allowed some of the gas to escape. I was so calm and silent, no one would ever know... except for the fact that I had eaten broccoli the night before.
A foul odor wafted up from the underside of the desk, enveloping us in its noxious cloud. Still, I soldiered on as though nothing was amiss.
Within moments, the fall-out had reached Vanessa. She assumed that our guest was the perpetrator and began shooting evil looks at the back of his head. Finding that that did nothing to alleviate her olfactory discomfort, she opened her desk and produced a can of air-freshener. This she proceeded to spray with wild abandon.
My guest looked at me with raised eyebrows, conveying his sympathy that I had to share an office with such a threat to the public health.
You see, by spraying her can of air-freshener, Vanessa had unwittingly conveyed the message that she had both smell't it and dealt it.
I escaped to fart another day.
Now, what's my prize?
So besides the fact that last week my period started and leak all the way through my jeans at my friends house... I have another good one. Actually, two. But maybe i'll post them on my blog... yep. I'm gonna.
My first year of college I lived in a non-cooking dorm building. We had to buy a meal plan and eat in a large cafeteria. On the night of this embarrassing moment we had the pleasure of eating some sweet and sour chicken over rice. I had loaded my tray pretty full. I realized I had forgotten to get some croutons for my salad (can't have it without!). I had already made the mistake of grabbing my drink though. I decided I would balance my tray on the edge of the serving table (it wasn't big enough to completely put my tray on) with my hip so I could free a hand to get those silly croutons. As I reached the tray slipped... towards me...
Not only did every glass item on my tray break, but the plate of sweet and sour chicken and rice hit my pants first leaving a large red splotch with rice for added texture. The whole cafeteria went silent which says a lot because it was HUGE and very full. Then everyone burst into applause. A couple photography students ran up to ask if they could take my picture for a special project. I declined. :P A student employee helped me clean off my pants as I stood there in shock and other employees cleaned up the mess. After I got another plate of food I think I made some kind of record in eating and getting out of there. It was awful. I'm glad I can laugh about it now.
Ok I have two...once in Jr. High I went to some music competition I played the violin & had to wear something nicer so was in Khakis when we got back to school it was spanish class and one of the older girls took me aside to the bathroom & gave me a pad...apparently I sat on pizza sauce & not even my best friend told me so we went back to class & I had a coat wrapped around my waist. After school my teacher asked if everything was ok. Lets just say I didnt wear khakis or white pants for a very long time!!!
Second story PS does this count as two...lol we were in virgina visiting my grandpas family, dont know any of them since it was my first time meeting them. They had big glass doors well they were so clean I walked right into one thinking I was going outside. Yeah no one knew me but still so embarrassing.
This is brilliant! You're really going to tell???
I was in high school. It was my senior year. I was taking classes at weber state in the morning so I only had to go the high school in the afternoon. On my way to class I stopped to get has. I used the classic extra squeeze technique, and overfilled the gas tank. Gas spilled out all over the ground...where I was standing. Here's the hint about gas, it dries really fast, and it's such a strong smell that you get used to it pretty quickly. It wasn't until I was sitting in my last, and only period, that everyone began noticing and asking where the smell was coming from. I knew it was me, but I kept my mouth shut...this was high school afte all. The whole class was complaining and my teacher even went so far as to remove some of the ceiling tiles (right above my head) to see if the smell was coming from there. Needless to say, it was an incredibly long and humiliating class!
Not only did I have to survive my class, but immediately afterward I had to go to work, at the schools daycare. Every parent that walked in asked of there was a gas leak, or what the smell was that was stinking up the room. Another hour and a half of scrutiny. I tried washing my shoes, but it didnt even touch the odor...it had already seeped in.
There you go, my story. It was horrifying, and I can't believe how much of the details I remember. LOL! I cannot wait to read yours!!!!
Okay, only because I am dying to hear yours! Jack and I were in a couples raquetball league. It was supposed to be co-ed, but since I was the only girl to sign up they just said I had to play with the boys (which is fine, cuz I am awesome at raquetball.) We were undefeated in regular play and we were just entering the tourney against a pair of really good guys who we just barely beat the time before. Well we started playing against them and I started to hear some snickering from the other team. I didn't think much of it. They continued laughing throughout the whole game and I just thought it was some kind of inside joke and frankly I didn't care because we were beating them badly. They were playing horrible, missing easy shot and wiffing it completely. We ended up winning the game. Right when we were leaving Jack turns to me and says "oh, by the way you started your period and have a huge blood stain on your pants." As my jaw dropped I got a look at the other team just as they walked out roaring with laughter. Remember, when you play raquestball you get in full sports position with your butt out in the air. NOW, I knew why they were laughing so hard. I asked Jack why he didn't tell me and he said it was because my game had been lacking a little and he thought that would give us a little edge. Oh, he also whispered for them not to tell me either.(I am still waiting for him to sign the divorce papers over that one)
When I was in grade-school I hated using the restrooms. (Come to think of it I still hate using public restrooms.) I use to try and hold it till I got home. One day during recess my friends and I were playing four square. I don't remember what exactly was said, but I just know we all started laughing really hard. Next thing I know I had peed my pants. My friends were quick to notice and asked if I had peed my pants. I did some quick thinking and said, "No. Someone just throw a water balloon at me. Didn't you see them?" I'm pretty sure they believed me, despite the missing balloon pieces. I still haven't told my friends I lied to them that day.
Forgot to mention this happened when I was in like 5th or 6th grade. Pretty sure it was 6th grade, considering the friends I was with.
Don't even know if I can compete with some of these but I'll try. I mean, pooped pants, and raquetball period? Those are good ones...and totally sucks. I can hardly pick so here's a few...
I too started my period at an assmebly my freshman year of college in khaki shorts and nothing to cover it up but my best friend walking behind me.
I was in the shower during a fire drill when I lived in the dorms and had to go outside in my towel.
I fell down a very large sand dune from top to bottom...totally tumbled in front of a lot of people. I ended up face planting at someones feet and stood up with sand ALL over me.
Here's one of my favorites. In highschool I had a huge crush on one of the guys in my circle of friends. His name was Andrew and he was a total babe. Turned out he liked me too. But we decided we didn't want to make things weird and tell our friends so he didn't tell the guys and I didn't tell the girls. We would secretly leave together when we were all hanging out but we didn't really hang out just us very often. One night he called and said there was going to be a meteor shower and asked if he could come over and we could watch it on my trampoline. I thought it was sooo cute and a perfect little "date." So I excitedly got all prettied up, grabbed some blankets and went wait for Andrew on the trampoline. He called when he was on his way so I was waiting to see his car lights in the driveway or behind the house. My backyard didn't have a fence and right behind it was the elementary school playgroud. I never saw his car and started getting worried wondering where he was. Then I heard something moving in the yard. I didn't say anything until I heard it again and started getting nervous with no Andrew..., "Andrew is that you?" Next thing I new I was being launched up in the air from beneath the trampoline by not only Andrew but by at least 5 of our other guy friends. Of course I was screaming and they were all laughing at me. I was so embarassed that he got all of them in on it and that I fell for it, and I was pretty pissed at him. Needless to say, we had some trust issues after that...he wasn't a keeper anyway :)
I got caught eating my dandruff during a work meeting.
Yikes! Thanks for sharing! I wish I had a name to thank. Also, if you win the most embarressing story, you'll have to come clean. Lol
Hahah! Your shower story was hilarious. That is one of my biggest fears! Also, I understand completely about having trust issues with your boy toy. That would freak me out so badly! Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you! I am glad to hear it!
This is my husband's so it totally counts! He's working on his resume or I'd make him come type it.
Phil was on a group date. They had just finished an activity and were trying to decide what they were going to do next. Phil flipped a chair around to sit on it backwards. When he swung his leg over his pants ripped in an awesome manner, from zipper to back pockets. Everyone saw his underwear (he clarified with 'boxers'). Luckily they were at his house and he was able to go up to his room and change.
My husband gave me a... um... vibrating personal massager for Christmas one year. He saw it in the airport and thought it would be great for tension in my jaw.
Poor, sweet man - that was not the intended purpose of the device.
We both laughed when I pointed out what it was really for and I stuck it in a drawer.
One night my MIL was babysitting and looking for some diaper rash cream. Guess what she found?
She never said anything, but the drawer was slightly ajar and my "massager" was right on top.
I'd love to win the prize, but I made a pinky-swear to never tell, so I'll keep this anonymous.
Bahahahahahah! This completely made my night! You are the "winner" hands down! Although I don't know you and can't physically reward you, you take the mental trophy! Carry it with you, always! Thank you so much for sharing! One away from hearing mine!
When my first daughter was born my mom was taking pictures an when I got home I was looking through them and right dead center of the picture is my nipple hanging out.
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