Suck or Shine?

As the world turns........
Lindsey is at the clinic preparing to once again assist with a filling.

First a patient gets local anesthetic, which makes their lips and gums numb in prep for the shot. The dentist arrives after about 5 minutes and then the shot is administered. Sometimes the patient will get up to 4 shots. Yikes. This does not bother me, which I find to be a huge relief. The dentist then leaves for another 5-10 minutes while the shot makes them super numb and tingling. I find this part funny because they start touching their face and they can't talk very well.....silly patients.

While the dentist is away and the patient is fondling their face I get mentally and physically prepared. I get all my tools in the right order. I get my gloves on and I fight with my face mask for a good minute or two. I have a jacked up ear.....this is not new news. I can wear glasses but for some reason I have the hardest time getting the elastic wrapped around my ear (due to this said condition ) for the freaking mask to cover my mouth. It is a constant struggle. It falls off. It isn't tight enough. If I forget to take my glasses off then they fog up if anxiety (aka heavy breathing) occurs during a procedure. (It is super funny when I think about it but during a procedure I want to crap myself due to embarrassment and stress) Basically I hate the masks but I would rather struggle with it than think about all the tooth decay I am inhaling without it......sick yo!

My mind during a tooth filling.
yes folks, you get a glimpse in my head.
Dentist arrives.
He grabs the drill
He drills out the decay

suction and water

He dries tooth
I hand him etch
He etches Tooth
suction and water

I hand him glumma

He swabs the tooth

I light up tooth

I hand him bond

He swabs the tooth

I light up the tooth  

"So Lindsey, have you sent out your resume yet? Have you had any working interviews yet?"

"Are you serious? Umm no."

"You need to. You are ready! Your hand passing technique flows. You are so ready!"

I hand him flowable composite

He fills the tooth

My face goes red

I cannot breath

My brain completely freezees

"I NEED YOU TO STOP TALKING!"

The Dentist and the Assistant from the other rooms starts laughing hysterically

I light up the tooth

I hand him packable composite

He fills the tooth

I hand him acorn tool

He packs the tooth

I light up the tooth

He checks the tooth
He is happy with tooth
I rinse and suction the mouth

Afterwards the dentist pulled me aside and told me that he feels completely comfortable with doing fillings with me and he is impressed with my work. After apologizing for basically telling him to "shut up" in front of a patient, I told him I was completely shocked because I have been feeling completely in the dark. Nobody has told me if I completely suck or shine so it has been really frustrating lately. This came completely out of no where and it has totally motivated me to start looking for a job. He told me that although I may feel like I am useless he said that I know the basics and that is really all I need to find a job. He also told me that I am top in my class (apparently one chick hasn't even sat in the chair yet...yikes!). I am so glad he reassured me.  WHAT A RELIEF!

The fear of drowning a young child or old person. The awkwardness of having to (again) hold a patients hand during a procedure. The nastiness of poo poo breath. The tense feeling in the room during a painful root canal. All of these issues will take time, but I know I will overcome them. Okay lets be honest, poo poo breath is an obstacle I will probably never get over. {Insert audible gag sound}

Graduation has been pushed up from the first week of Jan to sometime right before Christmas. I don't feel ready or prepared but I guess there really isn't a whole lot I can do about it.

I am so glad I have done this course. Before today whenever I would be in the clinic during a procedure or standing around I would have this same sentence bouncing around my head, "Lindsey, there is no possible way in Hell you are going to be able to pull this off." Sorry for the language but I repeat that sentence numerous times throughout the day. Dental Assisting is all I think about. I feel so much better. I can do this! It was the right decision.

So here is to the future. Thank you Mr Dentist Man for turning things around for me!