Sunday, August 28, 2011


I purchased these smart ones a couple of days ago and it was so hilarious to me when I opened up the box. They did not end up looking quite like I had expected. This is kind of how my life is right now. I plan for something and in return I get this pile of..............something else (: The taste was fine though, it just lacked in presentation, clearly.

This post will be random stories from the last couple of days. Sorry, my life isn't very interesting right now so instead of  having 2 or 3 different lame post I am going to make this one looooong lame post. Makes sense right?

I have a conversation I would like you to dissect. Let it sink in and I would like your thoughts in the matter. This conversation is brought to you from a miserable coworker at work. She is odd. I am still on the fence with her. She is incredibly moody. She will talk crap about you one day and be your friend the next. I normally avoid her and will keep my mouth shut when she is nearby, as I do not trust her for a second. It is like High School at my work. It was lunch time and me and the other receptionist were busy finishing up our work so we could eat our lunches. Please keep in mind Moody is 27 or 28, not a child by any means.

Moody: Hey guys, I want you to tell me what you think about this. I have had this issue in the back of my mind for the past couple of days and I've been worried about it. I would like your advice.
Me: {Oh boy, here we go......and the drama begins}
Receptionist #2: Okay, lets here it
Moody: So......(long dramatic pause, gearing herself up for the story)........I have a gallon of milk in my fridge. The expiration date on it is......................9/11.......................What should I do about that?
Me:.......I am staring at moody with a blank stare.
Receptionist #2: Oh well, I always just sniff the milk. If it smells sour then toss it out.
Me: {I knew immediately that moody wasn't talking about spoiled milk, plus, hello, we are days away from it expiring. #2 is so naive}
Me: Moody, are you superstitious or what?
Moody: Well no, its just that, 9/11..........(another dramatic pause)............was a really bad day. Do you think that it means something? Like, should I throw it out?
Me: uhhhh.......{Am I really having this conversation?}....okay well, if it bothers you so much then just throw the milk out, then you don't have to fret about it anymore. {If this is the only issue in your life than I would like to switch lives for a couple of days}
Moody: Wow, that is really good advice. I will think about this.
Me: {Another blank stare as she clocks out and walks away}

Ladies and gentlemen, this is another example of the kind of people I get the pleasure of working with every day. P.s check your milk, if it expires on 9/11 don't toss it'll be letting the terrorist win. It's a risk, there might be poison in it. I'm just saying, think it through.

Next on the agenda is my running progress. Let me tell you how big of a failure I have been. Following will be filled with way too much personal information but I am loopy with muscle relaxers right now, I feel incredibly willing to share every ounce of my life right now.

Last week did not go well, running wise. Monday I had cramps, you know, the once a month cramps. On Tuesday, I knew I needed to run before Scouts because Wednesday I would be going to a family birthday party. Also, I knew that Friday I was hanging out with Shanna for her birthday so I needed to fit in as much working out as possible with the time I had.

The temperature was a blistering 98 and as I got my workout clothes on I had this strong feeling that I should take the car. That way if I got too exhausted or over heated I would just be a short drive home instead of a mile away. I pushed the thought out of my mind due to the fact that I already have to worry about carrying my water bottle and phone, the last thing I need is to have to worry about a set of keys.

I started my walk and when I approached the track I started my timer and began timing myself for my run. Shortly after I started my stomach started to rumble. It was a rumble I knew too well. The rumble was a warning. I knew I had about 20 minutes before this rumble would turn into a trip to the rest room. I began to panic. {Should have listened to that feeling in your gut about the car, now you're gonna shiz in your pants} This is the thought that kept replaying in my mind.

I half walked, halfed jogged home. The problem with jogging though is you lose all control of your butt cheeks thus adding to the panic. I barely made it home in time.....when I say barely, I mean I was to the point of dripping sweat and cold chills. It was not pretty.

This leads me to my conclusions. Always listen to your gut instincts. When you feel like you should take the car, by all means, take it! Learn from my experience folks! It is hilarious to me as I picture people driving by me on the busy street by my house. I see myself, butt clenched, knuckles white, feet pounding the pavement with beads of sweat dripping from my face. I am grateful nobody stopped me to say hello, a dark stain {much like my smart ones dessert) on my pants would have been inevitable for sure. 

After this episode I took the next day off, and the next. It was traumatic. I did notice that because I took a break my back was aching every morning from the hour after I woke up til about lunch time. It has been miserable. After church today I finally got my work out clothes on and ventured back out to the track. I did my 30 minutes which took more effort than it should have and then an extra 3 miles and by time I got home my back was killing me. I took a muscle relaxer, took a shower, and then..................I freaking slept for 4 hours! Stupid pills!

Anyways, that was my week. How was your week? Did you about mess yourself this week too?


Alicia said...

Wow, if she was that superstitious why didn't she check the date before purchasing the milk? But more important is why would a terrorists want to poison a lowly little receptionist? I'm sure they have other people of on their A-list.

As for your other story, definitely TMI, but glad you made it home. That would have been really bad if you hadn't.

Hope your back gets better.

Jeremy and Nichole said...

Your post was hilarious. I know how the whole running thing goes, some days suck, but there are days when it is freaking awesome. Keep it up! It will get better!!


Kelsey said...

Haha!! Your are hilarious! I'm dying of laughter right now! :)

Jan DeGiulio said...

You make me laugh! Love your stories. And about TMI I won't tell you my "going on the side of the road" story in the Boston Marathon with millions of on lookers or my brown shorts story or...Feel good your butt clenches tighter than mine!