Saturday, August 13, 2011

Letter to a patient

Dear Patient,

I see you 3 times a week. I get along with you. You have a funny sense of humor and on occasion I will even ask you what book you are lugging around the clinic. One could say that we were a level up from being acquaintances. If I saw you in the store I would stop and say hello, which is a huge compliment as I have seen a couple of other patients and have quickly scurried away in the opposite direction. The reason I am writing this letter is to let you in on a little secret. Before Thursday I was comfortable with you, then the incident occurred and I had to rethink my life once again.

Do you remember that moment? I asked you for your copay and you reached into your big breast and pulled your credit card out. It was WARM! It was sweaty! It made me almost dry heave. I wanted to drop it and grab the nearest bottle of hand sanitizer but hesitated and thought things through.

You are lucky I was so kind. In the future will you please, for the love of all that is holy, get a purse or even a wallet and give that card another home! It must feel cramped shoved all up in your boobage, like a small studio apartment. Give it a mansion! A purse would be beautiful.

Please note that our relationship is kind of on the downfall, mostly because whenever I see your face I think of your sweaty boob the "incident". I will forgive you this time....THIS TIME. I wonder if the account manager would be cool with me having her pay online once a month. That would solve all of this....hmmm


Morning Receptionist


Alicia said...

Hahahahahaha, this made me laugh. Only because I have had this happen to me before only with sweaty bills taken out of a sock. Yes, a sock worn by a person who looks like they just came from the gym. Ewwwwwww....

The DeGiulio's said...

Oh man that is gross!