My restless thoughts

This post is brought to you from my bedroom. I crawled in bed feeling quite content with my weekend. I spent a good amount with my family, the house got some tender lovin care, worked out with Anthony, went to a Real Game with my folks and Nephew and most importantly I got to see Hunger Games. Yes, it has been a good weekend.

As I crawled into bed though I thought about this here blog. I tossed and turned as I contemplated why I hadn't posted anything lately. For that, I really don't have much of a response. Here at the homestead it has been pretty quiet. I do have a couple of things on my mind though so I tip toed downstairs and grabbed the laptop.

The Future. I have been thinking about this a lot the past little while. I know I have discussed this a couple of times but it is on my mind quite a bit. I have had this vision in my mind since I was a wee lil thing. The picturesque home on a quiet street, free from the hustle and bustle of life, but not from the every day enjoyment of neighbors, giddy childrens laughter and the attractive mail man in his too short shorts. I want this. Not so much the inappropriate shorts but everything else. I want the Wysteria lane looking neighborhoods. The ones we grew up in that are almost non existing now.

Anthony and I discussed what this year will hopefully hold for us. We have been really blessed to have a small amount of tuition to pay for. His work paid for all but one or two of his semesters while attending school. I often forget how huge that is. I also often forget how blessed we have been. It hasn't been much of a stretch for us to pay off that monthly payment for tuition. We will have tuition paid off in July. Our plans are to sell this house and find my dream neighborhood.

I think about selling this place. I am at the kitchen sink doing dishes, I have flour smeared across my cheek because before I put that last load of laundry in, I placed the pie in the oven. I sigh at how wonderful life is when the doorbell rings. It is a man in a suit. "Even though your house represents almost every holiday, with the fall wreath hanging on the door, the Christmas lights in the window and the tipped over spring welcome sign laying in the leaves next to the Arbys bag blown in from the wind, I find your home pleasing to the eye. It seems to me that this 70's home is just the place for me to settle down in. I will give you more than you are asking for."

I don't think many people know this but this house was purchased in haste. It was before the economy took a hit. Everyone was buying and you had to put an offer in quick or within 24 hours you lost out on the opportunity. Anthony and I had looked for a couple of places but none were too thrilling for us. While working one day I got a call and he said he had put an offer on a house. The offer went through. All we had to do was sign. I hadn't seen this house. It didn't feel like mine.

After a walk through before the paperwork was signed, I agreed that it was a fine match, although the feelings have never really diminished. It wasn't one I got to pick out, it wasn't one I had fallen in love with. As the years have past, almost 5 now, I yearn for the feeling of walking into a home and knowing without a doubt that it would be ours. A home that we would fill with memories, eventually a baby or two, and heck, why not a dog too?

It is exciting for me to think that we could have a home by the end of the year. The thought of having my own mailbox is awesome, but the thought of not having to have the washer and dryer in a closet in the kitchen is almost too much. I know the dream neighborhood will be hard to find but I hear Day Break is pretty close to what I have envisioned. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we can get out there and see what all the talk is about. Anyone else have any good places that match the criteria?

I know this post is already long but I have one more thing to discuss.

Food. A lot of people will say that they struggle with sweets or greasy food and that is where they struggle. That is why their waist line is extended. "Must just be water weight." I don't have that problem. Mine has always been portion size. I don't think I have ever missed a meal in my life. Even if I am not that hungry, I will eat. It is like I was starved as a child, jailed in an orphanage and my brain still thinks I am on survivor mode. "What if there isn't another meal?" Guess what puddin, there's always gonna be another meal so maybe lay off that last spoon full of potatoes and gravy?

I am playing an old record. You have heard me say this half a dozen times. I get lookin good in the end of the summer and bulk up like a fat bear come January. It is emotionally draining and frustrating. I started exercising about a month ago. My eating habits have been decent and I have some how only managed to loose a pound....1 pound. After the visits to the gym, the hours at home on the treadmill, the countless miles pounding the pavement outside. I want lypo, I want lapband, I want tummy tuck. I want to hate going to a restaurant. I want to not have to deal with this every freaking year.

A friend from high school put a notice on facebook about a blog she was wanting to start to help herself and others stay motivated and I knew it was heaven sent. I might have just down a cheeseburger and dr. pepper moments before I read the status. I immediately informed her of my interest and am grateful to be a part of it. I plan on adding some recipes and hopefully I will get some good ideas from others on some exercises. Please help me in my attempt, once again to get healthy. Why it is taking so much more effort this time around is beyond me.....probably my age lol? It just isn't as easy as it use to be. Insert eye roll.

Sorry this was so long, sorry for my absence and sorry for my whining. I love you all, and am grateful for your constant love and support. I am truly blessed to have such great friends and family in my life.

I am getting mushy......it is definitely past my bed time.