Went to the eye doctor the other day. Let me begin by saying that I had at one point in my life 20/20 vision.....er whatever is better than 20/20. I was proud of this. It set me apart from the rest of my 4 eyed family members. I was special, not adopted....I truly believed this. I must have been so perfect in heaven that the rest of the family was cursed with bad eye sight, but not I, Lindsey.
Well, maybe my head go too big, or maybe I sinned too much, because recently I started to see a change. Signs started to blur and at night I would always get headaches when driving. Perfect. I got me signed up for an appointment, the story begins. It's just an appointment, nothing too special.
The doctor did a couple of tests. "Number 1, Number 2?" I explained to her how my vision was declining rapidly. I then told her my dirty little ear secret that I will now share with you all. My right ear is freakishly attached to my head. Most ears are, I get that. Here is how I will be explain it. Put your finger on the top of your ear and bend it down. Mine does not bend. Picture me with sunglasses, its hilarious. My sunglasses will lean to the right because well, there just isn't a normal ear to hold it up. Most the time I shove my sunglasses in my hair or I just deal with the droopiness. I am an epic mess in the summer heat. The tests continue....
I started to panic thinking about the surgery that would need to occur for my new glasses to properly fit. Who knows if the insurance would pick it up. "Um, hi, this is Lindsey, I need a surgery for my ear, its attached to my head, just go ahead and give it a nice little slice." No, not going to work. I bet anyone could cut it for my though. I could be like a walking circumcision (:
This was her response.
"Honestly, there will not be a customer with better vision than you today. I am thinking that you use to have 20/20 vision or even better and now that you aren't as awesome as you use to be you are panicking."
Wow.......well alright then.
She dilated my eyes, did another test to make sure they were still the same "just in case I wasn't trying to hard" the first time and then she wrote me out a prescription for some glasses for when I drive at night.
I then walked out the door with those old lady sunglasses so my freakishly dilated eyes wouldn't turn to dust from the blazing sun.
Oh and Anthony came along. While I was being told I wasn't perfect anymore he was shopping for a new razor. He walked out with some deodorant, a new beard trimmer and $59 poorer from the exam. When I put my pride aside and buy the night glasses I will take a picture. They will be lopsided.