Monday, June 21, 2010

"You're messin with the wrong kind of girl!"

Work is pretty much the same thing every day. Lots of paperwork, lots of phone calls, lots of complaining from loud mouth and lots of fake smiles from both me and the patients. I appreciate anything out of the ordinary, even Monday meeting day is a nice reprieve.

Last week a young feisty little girl walked through the door. This young girl, age 5, named Lucy (fake name), usually sits in the waiting room with her itouch and keeps to herself. I usually will say hello and ask her childish questions for a little bit if she seems bored. I always thought she was such a well mannered child.

This last visit was different. On this glorious day one of the physical therapist started playing around with her. They would go around the office and throw balls at people. I got hit in the head numerous times while talking to patients. As soon as she got out of control the physical therapist decided he was bored with her and got back to work, which left us receptionists to babysit the little monster.

She was screaming and giggling and hitting me in the forehead. She was poking the accountants boobs. She was stealing my pens. She would push my chair to a room while I was up making copies. She was a nightmare.

At one point she started fighting with loud mouth (Lucy and loud mouth are the same maturity level so obviously heads are going to butt). Loud mouth stole her ball and Lucy was not happy. As the adult in the office I took Lucy aside and told her that we had lots of work to do and although we wanted to play with her the whole time we unfortunately couldn't. I told her that if she promised to not hit people with the ball anymore that Loud Mouth would give it back. She promised and then I had to talk with loud mouth to convince her to agree to my agreement.

Lucy then went and cried in the waiting room. After coaxing her to cheer up she got up and stormed over to loud mouth. This is her conversation:

Lucy: Loud Mouth, you are messing with the wrong kind of girl
Loud Mouth: Oh yeah!? And why do you say that?
Lucy then grabs her under shirt and tugs it up by her neck
Me: And what does that mean Lucy
Lucy: It's a Bra!
Me: Your 5? And you have a bra?
Lucy: YES! THAT MEANS I HAVE THESE!
Lucy then cups both of her non existing boobies and squishes them together.
Lucy: I HAVE THESE AND THAT MEANS YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE WRONG KIND OF GIRL!

I have never laughed so hard in that clinic. She was so angry. I almost felt bad for laughing, but my goodness.

Here are some afterthoughts:

#1 Why does her Mom allow her to have a bra? She's 5!
#2 Where did she get the idea that boobs bring power?
#3 I cannot wait until she is a teenager. She is going to be a little hellian.
#4 I am not a babysitter. My years of nannying are behind me. I do not appreciate parents/guardians bringing their children. These visits last an hour and a half or more. Please do not bring your small children and let them run a muck.


This is all, thank you for reading.

4 comments:

Alicia said...

Haha, makes me glad I don't have a girl. Though I wouldn't let my girl act like that.

Warren and Kelsey Fairbanks said...

Oh my gosh! What a freak of a child! Ugh, who the heck is this kids' mother?!

Jan DeGiulio said...

Thanks for my laugh of the day. Although I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

Shanna said...

Bahaha! I so love this story.